Our First Blog Entry

Nov 27, 2017

This blog is described as "an ongoing series of informational entries." That might be a lot to hope for. You might incidentally get some information from my posts, but don't count on it. I generally aim lower, for the odd, the funny, or the outrageous. I do like quotes, try not to get too personal, and am too lazy to post every day. But check in often--I love to talk!

Our Second Blog Entry

Our Latest Blog Entry

Our Latest Blog Entry

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

"[There is an] error of thinking that, via evolution, nature strives for perfection. The reality, however, is to the contrary. What succeeds in nature is usually no more than the best available solution to an environmental challenge. And the best solution does not have to be anywhere near perfection. You can be the second-slowest member of your group and still avoid the predator."

--The Accidental Homo Sapiens by Tattersall and DeSalle

But what happens the next time you're chased by that lion?

Aug 31

The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!  "The ideal it represents are what make it a perfect fit as the national animal of Scotland because, like this proud beast, Scots would fight to remain unconquered."

Aug 27

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

Aug 13

"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

--cartoon wisdom

Aug 6

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be. 

--Thomas Jefferson

Aug 3

     Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

     "Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

     It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aug 1

     I just saw Bob the Builder's wayward son at the supermarket today. He wore untied work boots, black socks to the knee, blue shorts, a baseball cap, and a tight Coca-Cola tee shirt. His brawny arms were tattooed from wrist to where they disappeared into the tee.

      I'm still a little shaken.

     I wish I had Bob's phone number. I'm worried his son will knock up Barney's sidekick Baby Bop.

July 30

     Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

     New story--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

     Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc.

     So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

July 27

     "An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive. And, secondly, I have to commend the scooter lady on her creative recycling of a Pringles can.

E-

July 26

     This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

     Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive though it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." 

     Which is very, very sad.

E-

July 25

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

"Silence fell on the car like a skydiving rhinoceros that didn't realize until too late that without opposable thumbs it couldn't pull the rip cord."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Sept 3

"[There is an] error of thinking that, via evolution, nature strives for perfection. The reality, however, is to the contrary. What succeeds in nature is usually no more than the best available solution to an environmental challenge. And the best solution does not have to be anywhere near perfection. You can be the second-slowest member of your group and still avoid the predator."

--The Accidental Homo Sapiens by Tattersall and DeSalle

But what happens the next time you're chased by that lion?

Aug 31

The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!  "The ideal it represents are what make it a perfect fit as the national animal of Scotland because, like this proud beast, Scots would fight to remain unconquered."

Aug 27

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

Aug 13

"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

--cartoon wisdom

Aug 6

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be. 

--Thomas Jefferson

Aug 3

     Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

     "Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

     It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aug 1

     I just saw Bob the Builder's wayward son at the supermarket today. He wore untied work boots, black socks to the knee, blue shorts, a baseball cap, and a tight Coca-Cola tee shirt. His brawny arms were tattooed from wrist to where they disappeared into the tee.

      I'm still a little shaken.

     I wish I had Bob's phone number. I'm worried his son will knock up Barney's sidekick Baby Bop.

July 30

     Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

     New story--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

     Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc.

     So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

July 27

     "An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive. And, secondly, I have to commend the scooter lady on her creative recycling of a Pringles can.

E-

July 26

     This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

     Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive though it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." 

     Which is very, very sad.

E-

July 25

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

"Silence fell on the car like a skydiving rhinoceros that didn't realize until too late that without opposable thumbs it couldn't pull the rip cord."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Sept 3

"[There is an] error of thinking that, via evolution, nature strives for perfection. The reality, however, is to the contrary. What succeeds in nature is usually no more than the best available solution to an environmental challenge. And the best solution does not have to be anywhere near perfection. You can be the second-slowest member of your group and still avoid the predator."

--The Accidental Homo Sapiens by Tattersall and DeSalle

But what happens the next time you're chased by that lion?

Aug 31

The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!  "The ideal it represents are what make it a perfect fit as the national animal of Scotland because, like this proud beast, Scots would fight to remain unconquered."

Aug 27

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

Aug 13

"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

--cartoon wisdom

Aug 6

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be. 

--Thomas Jefferson

Aug 3

     Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

     "Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

     It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aug 1

     I just saw Bob the Builder's wayward son at the supermarket today. He wore untied work boots, black socks to the knee, blue shorts, a baseball cap, and a tight Coca-Cola tee shirt. His brawny arms were tattooed from wrist to where they disappeared into the tee.

      I'm still a little shaken.

     I wish I had Bob's phone number. I'm worried his son will knock up Barney's sidekick Baby Bop.

July 30

     Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

     New story--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

     Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc.

     So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

July 27

     "An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive. And, secondly, I have to commend the scooter lady on her creative recycling of a Pringles can.

E-

July 26

     This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

     Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive though it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." 

     Which is very, very sad.

E-

July 25

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

     "When the Hollywood Golden reopened, the only people interested in its abandoned carnival ambiance were hookers and ghost hunters, along with a few lost souls hiding from jilted lovers and the police. Froehlich had once visited in the company of a hooker who always brought her pet Gila monster along in her purse. The lizard escaped the bag, crawled onto the bed, and bit Froehlich on a tender area at a particularly frantic moment.

     "He'd had a soft spot in his heart for the Hollywood Golden ever since."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Oct 2

"Silence fell on the car like a skydiving rhinoceros that didn't realize until too late that without opposable thumbs it couldn't pull the rip cord."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Sept 3

"[There is an] error of thinking that, via evolution, nature strives for perfection. The reality, however, is to the contrary. What succeeds in nature is usually no more than the best available solution to an environmental challenge. And the best solution does not have to be anywhere near perfection. You can be the second-slowest member of your group and still avoid the predator."

--The Accidental Homo Sapiens by Tattersall and DeSalle

But what happens the next time you're chased by that lion?

Aug 31

The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!  "The ideal it represents are what make it a perfect fit as the national animal of Scotland because, like this proud beast, Scots would fight to remain unconquered."

Aug 27

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

Aug 13

"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

--cartoon wisdom

Aug 6

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be. 

--Thomas Jefferson

Aug 3

     Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

     "Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

     It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aug 1

     I just saw Bob the Builder's wayward son at the supermarket today. He wore untied work boots, black socks to the knee, blue shorts, a baseball cap, and a tight Coca-Cola tee shirt. His brawny arms were tattooed from wrist to where they disappeared into the tee.

      I'm still a little shaken.

     I wish I had Bob's phone number. I'm worried his son will knock up Barney's sidekick Baby Bop.

July 30

     Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

     New story--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

     Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc.

     So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

July 27

     "An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive. And, secondly, I have to commend the scooter lady on her creative recycling of a Pringles can.

E-

July 26

     This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

     Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive though it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." 

     Which is very, very sad.

E-

July 25

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

     "When the Hollywood Golden reopened, the only people interested in its abandoned carnival ambiance were hookers and ghost hunters, along with a few lost souls hiding from jilted lovers and the police. Froehlich had once visited in the company of a hooker who always brought her pet Gila monster along in her purse. The lizard escaped the bag, crawled onto the bed, and bit Froehlich on a tender area at a particularly frantic moment.

     "He'd had a soft spot in his heart for the Hollywood Golden ever since."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Oct 2

"Silence fell on the car like a skydiving rhinoceros that didn't realize until too late that without opposable thumbs it couldn't pull the rip cord."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Sept 3

"[There is an] error of thinking that, via evolution, nature strives for perfection. The reality, however, is to the contrary. What succeeds in nature is usually no more than the best available solution to an environmental challenge. And the best solution does not have to be anywhere near perfection. You can be the second-slowest member of your group and still avoid the predator."

--The Accidental Homo Sapiens by Tattersall and DeSalle

But what happens the next time you're chased by that lion?

Aug 31

The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!  "The ideal it represents are what make it a perfect fit as the national animal of Scotland because, like this proud beast, Scots would fight to remain unconquered."

Aug 27

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

Aug 13

"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

--cartoon wisdom

Aug 6

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be. 

--Thomas Jefferson

Aug 3

     Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

     "Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

     It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aug 1

     I just saw Bob the Builder's wayward son at the supermarket today. He wore untied work boots, black socks to the knee, blue shorts, a baseball cap, and a tight Coca-Cola tee shirt. His brawny arms were tattooed from wrist to where they disappeared into the tee.

      I'm still a little shaken.

     I wish I had Bob's phone number. I'm worried his son will knock up Barney's sidekick Baby Bop.

July 30

     Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

     New story--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

     Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc.

     So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

July 27

     "An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive. And, secondly, I have to commend the scooter lady on her creative recycling of a Pringles can.

E-

July 26

     This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

     Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive though it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." 

     Which is very, very sad.

E-

July 25

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-

Oct 4

"Froehlich strolled out the front door. He'd ruined just enough lives today to feel really good about the doomed direction he knew his had taken."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Oct 3

     "When the Hollywood Golden reopened, the only people interested in its abandoned carnival ambiance were hookers and ghost hunters, along with a few lost souls hiding from jilted lovers and the police. Froehlich had once visited in the company of a hooker who always brought her pet Gila monster along in her purse. The lizard escaped the bag, crawled onto the bed, and bit Froehlich on a tender area at a particularly frantic moment.

     "He'd had a soft spot in his heart for the Hollywood Golden ever since."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Oct 2

"Silence fell on the car like a skydiving rhinoceros that didn't realize until too late that without opposable thumbs it couldn't pull the rip cord."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

Sept 3

"[There is an] error of thinking that, via evolution, nature strives for perfection. The reality, however, is to the contrary. What succeeds in nature is usually no more than the best available solution to an environmental challenge. And the best solution does not have to be anywhere near perfection. You can be the second-slowest member of your group and still avoid the predator."

--The Accidental Homo Sapiens by Tattersall and DeSalle

But what happens the next time you're chased by that lion?

Aug 31

The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!  "The ideal it represents are what make it a perfect fit as the national animal of Scotland because, like this proud beast, Scots would fight to remain unconquered."

Aug 27

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

Aug 13

"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

--cartoon wisdom

Aug 6

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be. 

--Thomas Jefferson

Aug 3

     Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

     "Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

     It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aug 1

     I just saw Bob the Builder's wayward son at the supermarket today. He wore untied work boots, black socks to the knee, blue shorts, a baseball cap, and a tight Coca-Cola tee shirt. His brawny arms were tattooed from wrist to where they disappeared into the tee.

      I'm still a little shaken.

     I wish I had Bob's phone number. I'm worried his son will knock up Barney's sidekick Baby Bop.

July 30

     Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

     New story--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

     Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc.

     So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

July 27

     "An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive. And, secondly, I have to commend the scooter lady on her creative recycling of a Pringles can.

E-

July 26

     This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

     Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive though it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." 

     Which is very, very sad.

E-

July 25

Ripped from the headlines-- "A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

     "The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston. But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

July 23

     Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

     Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front.

     He told me he has a wife and five-year-old daughter. He heard a male voice--not human--one night. It laughed at him and said, "Leave." The man is very afraid; "He's coming. I don't know who he was. One of his minions. I get all goofy, and it's not the meds. The voices are there."

July 18

     My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

     Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

     "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

July 9

First Date Don’ts #4 – Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

June 28

     My daughter is in the Army National Guard and is planning to invade Russia...as an exercise they're conducting over the summer in a Midwestern state about as far from the Russian front as you can get. She was talking tanks, artillery, and strategy, and I suggested that she include a Zombie Seal Team Six.

     She said that her commander has no sense of humor. I told her that if I were her commander, I would reward creativity.

     Which is why, I suppose, I will never be an Army officer in charge of anything.

     Sigh.

June 26

"When I walked into the yard everything went quiet. The kids all stopped and stared at me.... All those little bright eyes on me were just waiting to get back to the business of noise. Not one of them looked hungry or tired. And I'm willing to bet that they would look back on the days of Mrs. Harris's yard with the greatest pleasure. Running wild with the animals before the hunters started tracking them down."

--from Black Betty  by Walter Mosely

June 17

     "Jackson Blue had a brilliant mind, he might have been a genius, but he was cowardly and blustery to the core. If he could have put it in a jar, Jackson would have sold his soul for tonight's dinner or, even better, for fifteen minutes with a whore.

     "If there is a God he was drinking or mad the night he put Jackson together. Scrawny, lying, and afraid of his own footsteps, Jackson was one of the many friends who would never abandon me--he had nowhere else to go.

     "The same God who made Jackson Blue took a crocodile to make the man I was facing. He was every bit as tall as me, over six foot in cotton socks, and bumpy. He had rough skin that shifted hue now and then over his corded bare chest. His muscles weren't big but his shoulders dropped in a boxer's stance, and the damage that time had done to his face hadn't wiped the bitter dare from his lips."

--Black Betty by Walter Mosely

June 15

They say the truth is stranger than fiction....

"JBW of Webster, MA, got a free ride from police after refusing to leave a bar on May 5. But as he sat in the back seat, he repeatedly called 911. Finally the officers pulled over to make him stop, but he became uncooperative when officers tried to put handcuffs on. JBW was charged with misuse of the 911 system and interfering with an officer."

June 14

"In her youth Dana might have had a figure that wouldn't quit, but now it has. Her skin sags, her stomach pouches out, and she uses Scotch tape to pull up her wrinkles, up in her hairline where she thinks it doesn't show. Her voice is deep, husky from years of smoking. She should have been Empress of Transylvania, but ha to settle for being the bug up everyone's ass."

--As Dead as it Gets by Cady Kalian

June 13, 2019

"My first opinion of the unknown male as he lay on the ground...was that our new neighbor had a certain something, enough of a something for me to contemplate Ex-boyfriend possibilities. Not that he was really my neighbor; I didn't live at home anymore, but perhaps it was time for more regular visits."

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

June 12, 2019

I have not added a new post in a long time. It's too much like work. But here's a great quote from a new (to me) author:

"I have trouble with beginnings. For one thing, I don't find stories all that interesting when you start at the beginning. If you ask me, you only know there is a story when you get to the middle. And besides, beginnings are hard to determine. One could argue that the true beginning to all stories is the beginning of time. But Morty is already eighty-two years old, so given our time constraints, I'll begin this story on the date I met, or, more specifically, first laid eyes on 'John Brown.'"

--Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz

Jan 18. 2018

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Jan 7, 2018

When the headline says it all...

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.

'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

Dec 2, 2017

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines attached to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Dec 1, 2017

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--from The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

Nov 30, 2017

Coincidence? Maybe...but maybe not.

Today I planned to drive to Pueblo to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway (we LOVE their pizza, and now they have a NY bakery, too!) They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral. What can he say?

And a character on the movie says this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(He quoted Mariane Williamson.)

...and it's absolutely the perfect thing for my character to say.

E-